Bug Juice on My Mind

If I haven’t already hounded you to watch today (then first of all you haven’t heard from me today) but secondly I BEG you, tune in at 11pm local time to Disney Channel. BUG JUICE IS B-A-C-K. That’s right kids, The PG version of Real World is back in full effect. We’re runnin through the entire first season – ALL EIGHT WEEKS – every weeknight at 11. I couldn’t simply drop my normal review of the show, so I decided to come with a special minute-by-damn-minute review of how I saw it.

8:04
Jon and Andy (from Maryland) introduce themselves to the camera as they stop onto their flight headed for Camp. I can see these two will be the nerds of the group already. They have the Abercrombie hair before AnF was even in style.
8:05
Martha just declared that she’s 13, no 14 years old – how do you not know how old you are?
8:06
First commercial break and I am feeling great. It’s been six years since I watched season one of Bug Juice and I can’t remember all the details, so it feels like I’m watching a fresh new season of the show to end all kiddie reality shows. Next thing you know you’ll be watching Kiddie Survivor, where sixteen kids are released from Alta Loma High School and left alone to walk on foot to their homes – ABOVE LEMON – how did I survive?
8:08
The bus arrives at Camp Waziyatah and it’s check-in time. We are now live and direct from Maine, where we’ll be broadcasting to you nightly for the next eight weeks. Andrew’s mom is telling his counselor to make sure he wears his retainer every night. Could this be any worse of a beginning for his stay at camp? I think not.
8:11
12-year old Asa arrives at camp. Now this kid I remember, he’s like a sixth grade version of Rasch with blond hair. He makes a million mistakes over the next eight weeks and blames them on being the youngest person in the group. At the same time in the girls bunk 15-year old Caitlyn arrives, she is the elder statesmen of the group, which means she needs to get a real life. You’re 15 years old – get a job.
8:12
Racial tension is building up already as Sarai doesn’t seem to want to be here. She sees all the pasty white folk around here and looks like she’s taken the wrong bus and gotten off at the Nashville stop.
8:15
Nate just called TWICE – I will end his life.
8:17
Peanut – Head Counselor – is layin out the rules. No Cussing. No girls in the guy’s dorm (COME ON NOW) how else are we gonna get ratings without young teenage girls and boys getting it on?????? And now they’re doing the “we got spirit” chant back and forth between the boys and girls…I remember now why the show needed six years off to return to television.
8:21
Andrew won the Spirit Award last year? Is he gay? This is TBD.
8:23
The kids head back to their bunks for the night. I know what you’re thinking, all the girls are going to get into little lace teddies and start having pillow fights as it rains INSIDE of the bunk and their tops become see-through….no. They simply go to bed
8:25
The girls are declaring “rules” that they can all agree on and Sarai offers up the gem, “don’t be cliquey.” Does anyone else think she already regrets coming? Is she trying to stop the bloc from building against her? Don’t be cliquey? Get a friend.
8:28
The kids all reveal give their ideas on what they think camp is, and what they want to take away from their eight weeks at camp. Well I’ll tell you what I want.
Fights
Tears
Drama
Anger
Scandal
Injuries
Tears
Hormones
Tears


That’s’ all for tonight kids, tune in for more tomorrow (and by tomorrow I mean every weeknight for the next EIGHT WEEKS – PACK A LUNCH.